A marriage post

About a month ago I had a doctors appointment for a physical check-up. For procedure, one of the nurses had to weigh and measure my height for hospital records.

She made me sit on a type of scales slash sofa thingy and took my height in centimeters.

I swallowed simultaneously looking forward to and fearing the results.  

However, the actuality of my height was quite graceful here.

After the usual admirable comments by strangers and even hate ("giant") for it, 

I stand at six foot. It is quite size-able for my weight. 

I was a slim child, which never translated into my adolescence well. I have always been a snacker and a sugar baby, and my pre-teen discovery of white bread meant love-handles at eleven. That ancient baby pudginess have become my caricature, to the extent that my sister stuffed shirts round her belly to poke fun at my 'iconic' silhouette without being critical outright of my looks.

Those mountain-legs (as I call them) stick out from the sides + make my skinny jean slip down.

I am not 'wife material', as you probably have gathered from by now, not at this moment. 

I just think that the typical dream wife for the average Muslim male, is dainty, fair skinned, very slim which I am not. 

At this 6 foot height of mine carrying this weight and with dark mahogany skin many act disinterested, which speaks as much to the shallowness and immaturity of some of our brothers as well as their own internal issues with colorist and weight politics.

The womanist on the surface of me says flip 'em, strut and if a man wants to marry for anything except religion, then he need to do some shoegazing. 

But because of my fragility, I have fallen for the white supremacist beauty standards which has so easily cracked me, being born plus raised in Western Europe.  

I have fried and stretched my hair as far as it can go beyond my shoulders. Been on weight-watchers and slimming world - its fine.

Its not going to work, and by how hard it is to get married for most Muslims (I guess a lot of it come from us not looking at the bigger picture of marriage), I'll be single for a while longer!

- By Laila Ali Haid

Arrogance and Self-Admiration

My current raaqi has figured that I have some sort of sihr problem.

So the sheikh has put me on a shifa regime focusing on morning supplications, sunnah foods and sticking by my daily prayers.

I find it refreshing to start my day with the above instructions. For example the Prophet Muhammad -peace and blessings be upon him said :

"During your sleep, Satan knots three knots at the back of the head of each of you, and he breathes the following words at each knot, 'The night is, long, so keep on sleeping,' If that person wakes up and celebrates the praises of Allah, then one knot is undone, and when he performs ablution the second knot is undone, and when he prays, all the knots are undone, and he gets up in the morning lively...otherwise he gets up dull and gloomy. "

Sahih Bukhari--   Volume 4, Book 54, Number 491 (Narrated by Abu Huraira)

No wonder why people have such miserable mornings! Because they do not follow what rights their bodies have on them. 

To get up at dawn to praise your Creator would surely put light on your mood.  I find it quite effective therapy. 

Furthermore, to establish the dawn prayers is a mercy from Allah.

Muslims believe that we are the creation and servants of Allah (God Almighty). He spends and withholds as He wills and we are subject to His divine decree.

Therefore, we should be thankful to Allah - for decreeing that we live another day to witness the daily prayers, especially the dawn salaat as many struggle to wake up in time for it.

But the physical act of getting up and preparing ablution is not the end in our efforts for fajr.

How many people feel an achievement for being able to manage fajr on time. Especially when you are not used the regularity of it.

I want the reader to think about it;  if you are someone who doesn't usually get up on time for fajr for whatever reason and makes it up later

and alhamdulilah you get up one morning to find yourself just before sunrise and you do dawn salaat

And I remind myself firstly, but do you thank Allah for this accomplishment or do you attribute it to yourself,

and I think the first is more likely for someone who is used to establishing morning prayers?

If you think about it from this scenario - person a struggles with grades throughout high school and  is finally able to get their GPA high enough in their senior year to apply to a good college compared person b who gets consistently good marks so is accepted to multiple top schools.

Some expect person a to constantly reference their past with gratitude and for the b type person to be really up themselves (lol).

But it could be the other way round -  especially when it is unexpected, one would context their success on themselves.

Allah hates arrogance, for his servants to be haughty.

So what I am trying to say  - is that the more you increase in worship the more humble you should be.

We all need the grace and mercy of Allah but those who are irregular in good deeds like myself need this reminder more than anyone else.


- By Laila Ali Haid

Women and Faith Article by Laila Ali Haid (me), 2008/2009

By Laila Ali (also known as Laila Ali Haid) - My article is also found here:

 https://www.yourlocalguardian.co.uk/news/4689209.women-and-god/

The charity Interfaith Initiative Trust has announced it will stage a workshop entitled ‘Promises: Women of Faith in Action’ at the Paul Robenson theatre to promote social cohesion and interfaith dialogue. The workshop, which will start this October and run until spring 2010, is specifically aimed at women and it will discuss their own spiritual journey, whilst also letting the participants clear up any misconceptions about ones own religion. Whilst most other inter-faith dialogues are usually aimed at helping bridge communications between people of the Abrahamic faiths (Christians, Jews and Muslims), the inter-faith initiative trust asserts that women of all faith are welcome to participate, whether Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Sikh, Hindu or Buddhist.

The workshop provides an opportunity for women to debate and discuss their views about their own faiths and others, an opportunity that would be perhaps difficult in a place of worship. Traditional views about women when it comes to religion; that they should respect the views and (sometimes sexist) opinions of worship-leaders (Priests, Imams ect), that they should remain seen and not heard, and stand submissive should be blown apart by this workshop. Here, they can question the nature of their faiths, whether religion still stands as a force for collective good and still is relevant in uniting an increasingly diversifying and multicultural Britain. Speaking on the subject, this workshop interestingly comes after last’s month September 11th riots in the Middlesex borough of Harrow. This is a secular country that prides itself on its tolerance and respect for other faiths. However, how could we turn a blind eye to the rising tensions between particular communities in London? This workshop could help ease the tension between communities, and try to dissolve feelings of animosity between people pf faiths. Personally as a British Muslim, people are to afraid to ask questions, the presence of the elephant in the room is always felt, perhaps I would benefit from attending some of these workshops. The workshop can be a platform for passionate debate about the lack of social cohesion, the mistrustfulness between neighbours and members of communities of different faiths. It can also make one feel less alien to the increasingly faithless society that we have become, an assurance that you are not alone in a city where religious values and morals have less and less importance on daily life.

What I dislike about where I live (it ruins ramadan for me)

'X' town in London annoys me.


Why does 'X' town annoy me? (X is the town I live in. Don't worry, knowing myself, I will accidentally reveal X's identity in a future post).


Its in London, number 1. What do I dislike about London?


Its low rape conviction rates. What does that mean? I believe the pathetic conviction rates in this city gives leeway to evil male predators to scourge the darkest of alleys, underpasses, and corners, for vulnerable situations to pounce on . When the hour strikes midnight, X's witching hour commences. The crooks of X slither around the streets, looking for dark sports to convene through.


They have essentially stolen the night (well, mainly).


So what do has any of this got to do with Ramadan, you think, presumably?


Well, this month's Isha is later than usual, around half ten.


A while after Isha, the all important Taraweeh prayers begin. The rewards and benefits of these prayers are immense.


Because of X and London's rape conviction problems, I am essentially housebound during the night of Ramadan, whilst my brother and cousin are free to take the bikes and zoom all through X to attend Taraweeh prayers at X's main Mosque (or Masjid).


Heck, my Brother can go to Asda at 3 in the morning, to get his Suhur, and come back in one piece, using the bike, I think he even walks it sometimes!


I would go with them, but I have a feeling I cramp their style. I can tell by with their unenthusiastic groans after I ask them if they could take the bus with me after Taraweeh(and I am definitely not coming home by myself, after one horrid experience I had walking around X past midnight - No, I didn't get raped, Thanks to Allah).


The problem is, I feel I am missing a good chunk of the Ramadan spirit by missing out of Taraweeh prayers in the Mosque. The feeling is not the same, when praying at home in your room. Praying side by side with absolute strangers, my sisters, of all races and ages, bowing down to the One God and chiming 'Ameen' in unison after the Fatiha, gives you a sense of self worth, you feel integrated into a community of people united to by a great Love for the One. It doesn't count when you are doing it in your house, with 'Pod' from 'Snog, Marry, Avoid' barking orders on the television on BBC 3 .


So either I learn to drive (never gonna happen - I'm too scared of crashing in a highway).


Or a become a man.


The odds are stacked against me. Looks like another Ramadan at home, mum, sister, (female) cousin, Peace TV and me.

-By Laila Ali Haid

Ramadan Kareem folks [Short introduction too]

Well, my name is Laila, live in London, and I am 18.






I am also a Muslim, and very proud, hence why I reference to Islam in my Usernames, forum sigs, and blog titles.




Anyways, forget about me (actually don't, keep visiting this page please!), the reason why I created this blog is because a young christian lady asked if here where any blogs to follow how Muslims feel in Ramadan, well, I thought it would be convenient to start my own one, I do think this Ramadan would be more interesting than the last years one for me.




Also, I will not only use this blog to only discuss Ramadan but Islam itself, daily life, politics and current events




Will see you later, Insha'allah, I will post more in a bit.

- By Laila Ali Haid