Expression

faceless facial non-movements lead others astray,

emotionless and hassle free

pray tell

if this monster has a heart

worth striking your acid soaked arrow for?

or is she-monster only a vessel

of obscene whispers and projections

of other's hatred and carelessness. 

- By Laila Ali Haid

I might do this

but psychedelia overtakes
and sits a top
my eyeballs and head
it tells me to run through the glass
into the green grass
breath in toxic atmosphere
and breathe out health.
A faded photograph from the 60s
I wish to emulate
those shimmying girls
in their paisley overalls and see-through boots.

- By Laila Ali Haid

Needy Girl

I hate myself for loving you.

I remember a passage from Yasmin Mogahed's book, which basically summed up my relation to other people - from family, to friends and even complete strangers. In her book 'Reclaim Your Heart', she described the confused feeling of emotional attachment that she had for her friends and her family. She would feel strong sense of closeness to people around her, only to be excruciatingly devastated when they left her. She, in her words "couldn't let go of anything".

Today I had an argument with someone 'close' and even though I think I was mistreated by them (as usual) in the fight, afterward I felt an uncomfortable sensation in my stomach - one of sorrowed humiliation and guilt. Not only that I participated in hurting their emotions but also since they abandoned me too soon afterwards.

How do some people look as social butterflies, heck, even moths (dabbing hastily around any shiny thing/person) yet still keep in their airtight, emotion free shell?

I ask the reader, how do respect our sense of self-respect?

- By Laila Ali Haid